Wednesday, October 14th, 2015 – A HARD HABIT TO BREAK… The band Chicago was onto something! One of the most challenging aspects of growing up and growing intellectually is to develop strong, healthy habits of mind in regard to both academics and behavior. Even harder though, is “unlearning bad habits,” that have become so repetitive and rote that a person no longer realizes they are doing them. It’s so important though to try to break the bad and build the good because, as the following line from a poster in my class illustrates: Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch your habits, they become your CHARACTER…
Good habits of mind in academics, while not a breeze to develop, are a bit easier to implement than behavioral habits because they are more concrete and mindful: Learn your math facts; stop and think about a math problem and identify the steps to solving it; organize your time, space and materials; use proper mechanics as you draft and also pause your drafting frequently to edit and revise; read, read, and read some more — stopping just enough to help develop strong ideas around what you’ve been reading; pick books that will challenge and inspire you to become a lifelong reader. These are all things that students come to school expecting to learn, and most pick up these good habits at some point in their school career.
Behavior, however, is a much harder area in which to break bad habits and build better ones. This year, I am really pushing the kids to think about their behaviors, and to start to make some positive adjustments. I find a good percentage of sweet, kindhearted students at Ox Ridge have, despite their generally good character, developed some “bad habits” when it comes to talking too much, not always following the rules, not listening to teachers, not listening to directions, etc. They seem to feed off each other in this regard, and tend to repeat behaviors they know are disrespectful to the adults, the rules, and the learning community. Our Ox Ridge Code ends with the line, “Respectful to all,” but because of some rote and repetitive habits, many students repeatedly show disrespect to the adults here without meaning or wanting to. It is a larger issue we’re dealing with, but being asked to change bad habits and re-develop better ones can be daunting, exhausting, and can add to the overall learning curve of being a 5th grader. This is where they (and I) need your help.
We have had many discussions in class about this. In one such lesson I asked for an honest show of hands of anyone who was becoming more aware of times in which they knew they were being disrespectful, but did not change their behavior and/or repeated that behavior again in the future. Most hands went up. I then asked who among them would be open to the help of parents and teachers in talking about and making positive change in their behavior habits. All hands went up (even those who I consider to have good habits already). This tells me that your kids – wherever they are on this behavior continuum, recognize their behaviors as either respectful or disrespectful, but need some guidance in the breaking bad and building good category, or maybe they just want to share their observations of behavior here at Ox Ridge. “Back in our day,” we had some pretty harsh and broad-reaching consequences for misbehavior no matter the setting; but in today’s world, the focus is less on harsh realities and more on self-reflection – getting kids to see the value of the positive and the true consequences of the negative. Because I know that the 20th century is gone forever (heavy sigh), I am embracing this approach and using discussion and self-reflection to help your children. It would be great if you could do the same. Please ask them about how they and others behave in school and encourage their honest assessment of themselves. Ask them to share some instances of disrespect that they or others show to the adults, the rules, and the learning community. When kids have to put voice to their actions, they see themselves more clearly and can start to make those positive changes that result in strong habits of mind and lasting good character.
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