Friday, September 20, 2019 –A HARD HABIT TO BREAK…
The band Chicago was onto something! One of the most challenging aspects of growing up and growing intellectually is to develop strong, healthy habits of mind in regard to both academics and behavior. Even harder though, is “unlearning bad habits,” that have become so repetitive and rote that a person no longer realizes they are doing them. It’s so important though to try to break the bad and build the good because, as the following line from a poster in my class illustrates: Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch your habits, they become your CHARACTER…
Good habits of mind in academics, while not a breeze to develop, are a bit easier to implement than behavior habits because they are more concrete and mindful: Learn your math facts; stop and think about a math problem and identify the steps to solving it; organize your time, space and materials; use proper mechanics as you draft and also pause your drafting frequently to edit and revise; read, read, and read some more — stopping just enough to help develop strong ideas around what you’ve been reading; pick books that will challenge and inspire you to become a lifelong reader. These are all things that students come to school expecting to learn, and most pick up these good habits at some point in their school career.
Behavior, however, is a much more difficult area in which to break bad habits and build better ones.This year, I am really pushing the kids to think about their behaviors and, as needed, to start to make positive adjustments. I find a good percentage of sweet, kindhearted students at Ox Ridge have, despite their generally good character, developed some “bad habits” when it comes to talking, following the rules, listening to teachers, listening to directions, etc.
Our Ox Ridge Code ends with the line, “Respectful to all,” but because of some rote and repetitive habits, students can repeat behaviors they know are disrespectful to the adults, the school rules, and the learning community without meaning or wanting to. Truth be told, being asked to change bad habits and re-develop better ones can be daunting, exhausting, and can add to the overall learning curve of being a 5th grader. This is where they (and I) need your help.
We have been having discussions in class about this. In one such lesson, I asked for an honest show of hands of those becoming more aware of times they were being disrespectful but did not change their behavior and/or repeated that behavior again in the future. Many hands went up. I then asked who among them would be open to the help of teachers and parents in talking about and making positive change in their behavior habits. All hands went up (even those who I consider having already developed good habits). This tells me that your kids – wherever they are on this behavior continuum, recognize their behaviors as either respectful or disrespectful, but may need some guidance in breaking bad and building good, or maybe they just want to share their observations of behaviors here at Ox Ridge. It would be great if you could help them self-reflect. Please ask them about how they and others behave in school and encourage their honest assessment of themselves. Ask them to share some instances of both respect and disrespect that they or others show to the adults, the rules, and the learning community and suggest some alternatives. It’s important that these discussions be non-punitive, so that kids can be honest with you and with themselves. When kids put voice to their actions, they see themselves more clearly and can start to make those positive changes that result in strong habits of mind and lasting good character.
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